Wyoming is beautiful, by the way.

So, I spent this weekend in Idaho again. Tianna's second reception was up there on Friday night, so I drove up that afternoon. Saturday morning, we all went to the Museum of Idaho to see their latest exhibit, World of the Pharaohs. Saturday night, we went up to Jackson Hole to see the Bar J Wranglers perform and have dinner. Then on Sunday, T's nephew was being blessed, so I stayed for that, too. After a celebratory lunch, I caravaned back to Utah with the newlyweds. We stopped at BJ's family's house for dinner and to open gifts. I finally made it home a two o'clock this morning. It was a long weekend.

Enough of the boring stuff! It wasn't only a long weekend; it was also filled with bizarrity. So now, for your reading pleasure, a list of oddness I encountered on my trip:

• strange stores I passed:
• the House of Hose
• The Dam Store (located, predictably, near a dam)
• Stinker Stores, complete with skunk logo
• my favorite: The Midnight Taxidermist (Seriously, if you have an animal you need stuffed so badly you can't wait until morning, well, we just don't have anything in common.)
• I drove by a farmer (cowboy hat and all) sitting on a riding lawnmower out by the road; not moving or anything, just sitting there.
  
• There's a Potato Museum! Those crazy Idahoans.
• I spent quite a while behind a car with a skull on the back window; this was special because the skull was flipping me off with both hands.
• After hearing about it for so long, I finally got to pay over $4/gallon for gas! Thrice, actually.
• a couple of fun signs:
• "Game Crossing." Yes, I am well aware of what was actually intended (I'm not that much of a city girl), but I swear that when I read it, I pictured Monopoly, Scrabble, Twister, and the like toddling across the road. Try it! It's a funny image.
• In front of a handicap parking space: "Stupidity is not considered to be a handicap. Park somewhere else."
• I actually saw, with my own eyes, square ice cream. (We didn't get any because the line was forever long and we were on a schedule. But it looked cool!)
• On my way up, I'm driving through the middle of nowhere, right? I mean, there's just nothing around except the highway. Well, perhaps as a marker that this was, in fact, the Middle of Nowhere, there are these two street lights. One after another. Just sittin' there. No others for miles and miles in either direction. Odd.
• fond memories that were brought back to me:
• On the way home, we spent over an hour stuck in construction near Ogden. I saw a couple of cars pulled off to the side (tricky, when you're surrounded by orange barrels), and it reminded me of a time I was driving home to Texas. I was stuck in construction, in either Oklahoma or Arkansas. Not sure which. Well, I wasn't really stuck; we were crawling along at about 5 mph. I looked down at my left leg and saw a huge spider on it! Its body was at least the size of a quarter, and it had very kind and helpful neon yellow markings on it to let me know that it could kill me. It was situated just below my knee, and I promptly started to freak out. But what could I do? There was nowhere to pull over, and I couldn't just stop. I could brush it off my leg, but then it would be loose in my car, an idea not to be born. So I stayed very still (as still as it's possible to keep your left leg when you're driving stick, anyway) and waited until I got out of the construction and could pull over. This was quite the test of my composure, let me tell you. But I was so relieved to finally get rid of it!
• I passed a billboard advertising My Turn on Earth, available for sale at a bookstore. I saw this movie for the first time last year, and I am now scarred for life. Particularly as regards a certain lullaby that my mother always sang to me but never told me came from the most ridiculous, cheesy movie EVAR. When it started to play, I had a very violent reaction, let me tell you.
• I mentioned the construction traffic nightmare. Well, BJ and Tianna and I conversed a few times during said madness, and a new game was born. Freeway Karaoke! Just roll down your windows, hold out a sign telling your neighborly sufferers to tune to a certain station, and everybody sing along! Sadly, no, we didn't actually try this. If everybody was as near to insanity as I was (I am quite certain you can only push the clutch in and out so many times in an hour before you go stark raving mad), it probably wouldn't have been received very well. But it was a fabulous idea.
  
• I also learned how to signal an "S.O.S." with my headlights. Needless to say, nobody came to my rescue.

The weirdest things happen to me at fast-food joints.

Ok, so T and I went out to run some errands this morning, right? Well, we were hungry, so we decided to stop at McDonald's for lunch. As I was getting out of the car, my flipflop broke!This was very sad, since, as we all know, McDonald's forbids entrance if you're barefoot. What to do? Obviously, pretend it will stay on my foot (which, of course, it didn't). But I had Tianna call BJ and invite him to join us. And bring me another pair. Which, of course, he did. And since we still had to go to the grocery store, this was a good thing.

Other weird thing that happened to me today: I opened up a bottle of creme soda, and it exploded all over me! And the floor. And the chair. Interestingly enough, my first instinct was to try and hold the foam in by pressing my hands around the neck of the bottle. This failed miserably, to everyone's great shock. Hours later, I realized that my hands were still sticky. Don't worry: I have washed them again, and they are now clean.

Good Times & Happy Hearts

I just returned from dinner at Cracker Barrel. What a trip down memory lane! My family used to stop at these restaurants frequently on our road trips (Dad's from the South and loves their down-home country food). Afterward, we'd proceed to coerce our parents into buying us something we absolutely needed from the store. I was actually able to look around and pick out which things each of us would have chosen as children. It was fun. And I got to buy one of my all-time favorite candies! These fruit-flavored slices are coated in sugar, and they're exquisite. I'm rather excited to eat them, truth be told.

But the coolest part, by far, was when I saw this book:I cannot tell you how excited I was! This book was an integral part of my childhood. I can remember my mom reading it to me, as well as reading it many times on my own once I learned to read. I flipped through it and enjoyed the stories all over again. (T may have been laughing at me the whole time. Whatever.) It was amazing! I was sorely tempted to buy it, but I know I could get it for a lot cheaper in a normal bookstore. But oh, how the sight of this book lifted my heart!

Professionalism

Ok, so we had this big division-wide, mandatory-attendance meeting this morning. We're doing some reorganizing. But that's not the cool part. The cool part was when our Head of Division was up in front, just getting started on his presentation. He had his laptop hooked up to a projector and was doing the PowerPoint thing. A couple of slides in, a window pops up for him to accept the iTunes licensing agreement. He physically jumped back, then looked at us a bit sheepishly. "I fully expect none of you to have iTunes on your work computers." We all laughed at him. "And, just so you know, it's all classical and Mormon Tabernacle Choir. [pause] Bob down here is looking at me like he doesn't believe me." We laughed more. Then, about five minutes before the meeting ended, his cell phone started ringing! It was awesome.

Things Found in "My" Desk

*Okay, it's not actually my desk. It's the desk I sit at. Whatever.

• 2 plastic spoons
• pens/pencils
• Silly Putty
• 3 sets of earplugs in a nice plastic case
• toothpaste
• $0.51 in change
• Post-Its
• velcro strips
• 1 tablet of asthma medication that expired in June 2006
• an electric fan
• business cards
• whip
• soundtrack to God's Army
• extra computer memory cards
• bike lock
• manicure set
• can opener (the hand-crank kind)
• toothbrush
• moist towelette
• salt in a baggie with a 1/8-tsp. measuring spoon
• scissors
• pushpins
• an empty case for heaven-only-knows-what

So no, I take no responsibility for any of these items. But I am allowed to use them, so don't give me a reason to get that whip out!

Optimism I Can Live With

This appeared on the wall at work this week. I kind of like it.

Snowflakes are for pretty!

It's things like this that make me all kinds of happy. Even when I'm headachy and trippy from all the Excedrin I've taken today. If you know me well, you'll immediately understand why. If you don't...well, you probably won't care.

Theological Discussions at My House

Jess: I have a hole in my pants.
BJ: They're holy pants!
Jess: Does that make this a holy patch of skin?
BJ: No...skin isn't really holy.
Jess: It's porous.
BJ: It's...micro-holy!